I didn’t think this would be a blog title any time soon….wow.  I wish I knew exactly what to say and exactly how I felt, but I don’t!  I am still in South Africa and it will take me two days to get home.  I am sure once I am with Myles and I can let my guard down, I will really feel this.

I had two positive tests for pregnancy the day before the World Cup in South Africa.  I am six weeks along.  With my team’s support, I chose not to start the World Cup.  At his point in my life, I could never forgive myself if something happened to this little soul who obviously has some wonderful reasons for choosing me as his mother.  The timing doesn’t SEEM perfect, but in the case of new life, the timing is somehow always perfect isn’t it?

I am looking forward to what the universe has in store for me, and the unfolding of what I have yet to understand.  I am in the most nurturing and loving relationship I could ever imagine, and fully supported by my family, friends, and Trek World Racing team.

I saw Gunn-Rita after the race yesterday and congratulated her on her 12th place finish.  I think she was 100 times more excited than I about the baby news.  She had goosebumps and lots of words of wisdom.  She now has a two year old boy, an Olympic gold medal, Rainbow stripes and multiple World Cup Wins.  She told me that nothing compares to this experience, and sport is always there for me whenever I want to return.  She wrote her e-mail in black marker on my Oakley hat, and I will be sure to use it!

If you were to ask me my plan now, it starts with shifting from overwhelmed to excited, from bittersweet to full of joy and from doubt into trust.  I plan to continue to ride and exercise day to day, to write the book I have been talking about, to nurture myself, my baby, Myles and his son, and to be back in World Cup action next Spring.  The due date is December 22.  This book is getting more interesting by the second! Thanks for all your love and support, this blog will be a bit different for a while, but please keep checking in.  I am sure I am going to have alot to say…..love and blessings, Willow.

I seriously have never been so muddy.  It was fun though! I just let River follow the river, and it all worked out fine.  The first race of the year is always stressful, and I am happy to know that I remember how to race!

I finished second to Irina, and learned alot about how to race next weekend.  Rain or dry, I know what I need!

2 baths today, and I am still chilly.  Love Pauline here at the Capulets…..she took me to the health food store AND makes me gluten-free dinners.

I found a sulfite free wine called “Natural Star”.  Of course I am all over that!  Maybe tomorrow I won’t be too cold to get a massage.

After all the waiting and the long winter, race season is finally here!  Feels good to know that nothing but the win will satisfy my thirst.  I hope you are all feeling the passion!  Did you notice that the last week has been super intense?  Just checking…

So yesterday was a 6 dog day, and the dog at our new place needing comforting after loosing his best mate.  (He just barked in agreement I might add).  Today was a 7 monkey day and there were exactly 7 monkeys in my back yard.  Wasn’t there a Brad Pitt movie about this?  I love this calendar….

I rode the course today on my new Top Fuel, and it was perfect.  I named her River, and she finds the lines.  Just trusting and flowing, the way it should be.

I found some gluten free bread and Ray brought me almond butter and flip flops, so I am in heaven.  Although the rain and the cold make the flip flops a bit useless… but they are HOT pink.

I miss home.  I am also acutely aware of how fast time passes and how important this “made-up” world of mine can seem at times.  In the end, I think what matters most is that you enjoy your illusion, and inspire other’s to create and enjoy theirs.

PS  I found an organic wine called “Hunting Owl Shiraz”.  If you know me, that’s all you need to know…

Just a quick little update!  I managed to cram in a healing session, packing, invite sending and a romantic dinner with Myles the day before 2 days of travel.  I am super proud of myself just for chilling on the plane.  Now all the flights for the rest of the year will seem easy!  If you are ever in Stellenbosch you must stay at the Ons Genot hotel.  The staff is amazing, the chefs are amazing, my honeymoon suite is amazing and the trails in Jonkershoek Park are SO fun!

Busy days here, I can’t believe how fast they are flying.  That is a bit unusual for life on the road!  Tonight is dinner out with the Flu brothers and Frank and Carol from Bontrager tires.  Gluten free pizza!  And wine.  And a chance to wear some high heels.  Woohoo!  The team is all about the tennis matches and the pool time, so I am going to have to join in once the interval training comes to a close.

You may be aware that I am a Stargazer Li fan, and if so, today is a 1 Serpent day.  I saw 3 lizards on the trail.  Of course.  Where are my teammates?  It is time to go!  A few more days of hard training, a wine tour, a flight to Durban and then the racing is on!  I just realized I use alot of exclamation points.

Yep, I caved.  But….it will be an easy way to follow me around the world this year!!  WillowkRocks is my user name.  Thanks for following!

Finally, the freshness has arrived!  Energetically as well. . . I can feel the shift and I hope you can too.  Things seems less overwhelming, less work, and more fun.  It’s warm out, the mountain bike is looking inviting and my to-do list seems suddenly shorter.

I had a quick trip to Spain for Fox suspension testing as well as meeting everyone on the TWR family.  I have never been so jet-lagged, and I got my first cold in I don’t know how long.  I felt a bit challenged by all the “unknowns” of the newness, but gradually I have embraced all the change.  Change is good!  It is uncomfortable, but always good. My new Top Fuel is spending some time in my room absorbing the high vibe crystals and soaking up the power of the jaguar. I can’t wait for this bike to teach me how to ride the way I want to.  Fearlessly floating up and down the trail, all the while having FUN!

My brother Sam and his wife Trish just welcomed baby boy Otto into the clan.  I hope I have time to see him before the fall, but that may require a body double!

I have decided to delete all the programming that has been crammed into my skull regarding training and racing and how hard it should be.  Why is that true?  Just because that’s what “they” have been saying all along, and thats what we all have believed.  Sorry, no more.  I rebel.  I have changed most everything in my life but this false belief  has stubbornly stuck around.  I know I have blogged about not believing this junk, but it still creeps in from time to time to convince me I am not doing enough.

I have taken action in the last few days … . I wrote the old story of what I thought racing and training should be, and I burned it.  Then I wrote a new story about how fun and effortless it all is.  I let that one float down the Animas river.  I challenge you to let go of whatever way you are holding onto suffering.  Ask yourself every day what you want to do, and then do that.  ”Should’s and “have to’s”  are free to go!  Deactivate that  old stuff.  The energy is shifting, let’s go with it.

So. . . it just keeps happening!  The more “onion” layers  I peel off, the more vulnerable I am.  The more vulnerable I am the more real I am.  The more real I am the more life is actually FUN.  Since my last post I have had at least 3 more “healing sessions” with Marie Redfeather, a conversation or two with Stargazer Li, quite a few more letter burning ceremonies, a trip to Laguna, a ceremonial closing of my fear account and opening an account with love.  Biking, pilates, skate-skiing, belly-dancing, painting, crying, a trip to Laguna Beach, more crying, more healing, more vulnerability, more REALNESS, more amazingness, more magic, a proposal, an acceptance, a diamond, a celebration,  a new appreciation, and so many new beginnings. . . .  did I mention that my crystals are recharged from spending a night out in the full moon??!!!  Be healed and well heeled (as in the stiletto kind), live fabulously!  Cheers!

I don’t really know where to start so I will just start rambling. . .. I have had huge breakthroughs in all areas of  life.  A total rebirth actually.  I have fully integrated so much of what I have been working toward for the last 8 years.  It is hard to even explain, but I feel, and am, so much lighter.  The dark has completely circled around to embrace the light.  A circle complete, and a realization that the darker the night, the brighter the stars shine.

I have fully integrated the Jaguar animal medicine that has been mine since birth, magically picking up the crystals I need to communicate with my guides, and calling upon my animal totems for strength in all areas of life.  The magic is all around now, and the hard work and pain has been worth it.  I have a depth and richness that only comes from where I have been.  Did I mention I feel freaking amazing when I am on the bike, the skis, the snowshoes, whatever?

I don’t train anymore, I play outside.  I don’t HAVE to do anything, I WANT to do it.  Exercise has always been something I felt I was chained to, now it is finally just an “exercise” of free will and joy.  The waves will always come and go, but as Stargazer Li said, “you are now ready to live your life, not your stuff”.  I am following the golden trail before me, and appreciating the beauty, elegance, creativity, harmony and motion in the dance that is my life.  Today is a warrior day, so it is a good day to go big!  Seek your joy. . ..

Jaguar on the hunt

A lion vibe, no?

Like Rhianna would. . .. A few posts back I wanted to write a trinity.   About the food, the training and the lifestyle. I guess this is the lifestyle bit.

I have touched on many of these topics in the past.  Simply put, find a way of living that INSPIRES you.  It really doesn’t matter what it is.  Just seek that “thing” that does it for you, and ride that wave until you hit the next one.  Life is such an individual process.  Everyone will not like what you do, what you say or what you believe.  Who cares?  At the end of the day, you are who lives with you.  You are the judge, the nurturer and the goddess (or god, if you are a guy . . . )

You can’t stand on your head in enough ways to please everyone, so STOP TRYING.  Let it flow.  Let the hill climb give you energy rather than suck you dry.  Let the challenges and the confrontations fuel you rather than deplete you.  Let the magic be visible every day, everywhere.  It is your life to live.  Make it count.  Be controversial.  Speak your truth.  Do things your way.  Every day.  The things that work for me may not work for you.  It is not advice that matters, but someone, anyone, giving a hint that there is always a way that is easier.  Always a way that is full of light and a way that simply makes you smile. Go that way!!

I just want to say a quick thank you for voting me female mountain biker of the year on cyclingnews.com.  I really appreciate it!

http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/koerber-voted-cyclingnews-female-mountain-biker-of-the-year

Climbing the switchbacks at Worlds

I also want to say a big thank you to the universe for lining things up magically after a bit of a hard push at the end of the year (see last blog. . . ).  Myles and I are both on the other side of our “healing crisis” and looking forward to all the freshness that this year will bring.  The cross country skiing is open 2 minutes from my house, so that’s a bonus!  The snow has been great at DMR, there is still plenty of powder in the trees.

Tonight I have a session with Stargazer Li.  I am so excited!  She is an astrologer as well as just an amazing “out there” person.  I always feel better when I feel smaller and the universe seems bigger.  www.stargazerli.com.  This week is a week of balance, and this year is all about shedding and reconnecting.  Sounds perfect to me!

My family is coming out this weekend for some back country sessions.  My snowshoes are ready and so are my lungs.  Watch out Koerber’s!  They want me to shop for them before they arrive.  I don’t know how I am going to fit all that food in my car. . ..

Today is  a pretty sweet day; Pilates, massage, hot-springs with TC, and then of course my session with Li.  Yesterday I saw Ami Nathwani here is Durango.  She is an Ayurvedic practioner here in Durango.  She is so cool and tapped it, she gets me!  I saw her last year about this time and we really changed my diet for the winter to help with the training load and my emotions/anxiety.  Ayurvedic medicine is all about balancing your Doshas, and believe me you can get out of whack pretty quick.  I am a Vata-Pitta combo and I am always walking a thin line between to much “ether and air” and too much “fire”.  You could take a quiz online if you are interested in see how you can balance yourself out with diet and lifestyle. www.whatsyourdosha.com

For example, hot yoga is awful for me (stirs up too much fire and inflammation) but restorative yoga, belly dancing, hot springs and almond oil massages are just what I need to keep me balanced while doing all the other training.  Diet wise, salads and leafy greens are off the menu until March.  I have added more root vegetables and soothing teas to my daily plan. Like I said, I did all this last Winter, but it is amazing how much I forget from season to season!

I hope everyone is feeling better in this NEW year.  I know alot of us were spinning in chaos, but so was the planet!  If you were feeling it, you were just tapped in.  Sometimes it is hard to be so connected, but when the stars align, you have to admit is pretty magical!!